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hemmimgs:

omegleofficial:

sexlness:

landorus:

erection and election are spelled almost exactly the same and when u think about it they basically mean the same thing

a dick rising to power

wait for it

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alex-of-macedonia:

theplanlaugh:

So my dad has this new idea: Take this wonderful wasabi thing

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Turn it into beautiful, small rectangles, wrap it in laminated paper and put it in a trident box, so that it’ll look like this:

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Give it to someone when they ask you for gum and watch as their mouth burns. Enjoy.

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"

Do not teach your daughters to be ‘pretty.’

Do not entomb her in a pretty pink tower
and insist that only the degree of her physical appeal
may set her free.
Teach her to fight her way out,
to consume books and spit knowledge
to lesser boys who insist she is just beautiful
and nothing more.

Teach her to love her body
not to manipulate and put a price tag on herself
as a defined worth
she shall be immeasurable
she shall be more than this.

Do not let her break herself down
when the boy in kindergarden hits her
because he likes her.
What are you really teaching her?
Pain and love are not synonymous
neither are pretty and perfection.

Teach her to be kind
to be harsh
to be demure
to be wild
to be sensitive
to be thick-skinned

But good god,

Do not teach your daughters to be ‘pretty.’

"
-Michelle K., Do Not Teach Your Daughters to Be ‘Pretty.’ (via michellekpoems)

striders:

once a straight boy was tryina holler n he literally texted me the phrase “*turns into a wolf and snuggles your boobs*” like???? buddy you weird as fuck i wasnt interested to begin with but now im fuckin worried about you like what the hell

sherlock-whovian-in-the-impala:

People that leave before the end of a Marvel movies credits

meladoodle:

apparently in holland they were trying to do the world record for the longest domino chain and then a bird came in an knocked 23,000 of them over… then they shot the bird and got fined because it was an endangered species. if one story has described my life as much as this story has, i’d like to hear it.